Going forward
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I've started writing fanfiction. It's not very good, but I'm starting to work on a few things. Mostly it's just disjointed thoughts that I have to write down to expand on later.

I took the day off work to do some projects for school and study for my final exam next week. I figured it would help if I could get some dedicated time. Three projects to finish and some discussion questions. If I do the discussion questions, I'm not going to put the kind of work into them that a few people have. One person submitted six pages. Six pages for an online discussion question that's worth 3%. I just can't find it in myself to care that much.

I can't wait to finish the course. I write my exam next Thursday, and then on Saturday we're doing the Grape Escape, which is always a good time. It'll be an excellent way to celebrate. And on Monday, I'm going to be starting the 21-Day Fix. Diet programs, I know, it's kind of silly but my sister's done a full round of it already and she said she couldn't believe the difference it made, just to her general mood and outlook. She said she just feels better. So I figure I can do a round of it before we head to Orlando, and then when I get back, I'll get back to yoga. I'm hoping it'll help with the stress. I can fit in a 30-minute workout every day. And I don't really have to change my eating habits, except for adding in this supplement shake every day.

I just don't know what it's going to be like to be out from under the shadow of school. I know people who say that they miss school and they'd like to go back, but I don't think I'm that type of person. The WSET Level 1? Sure. But that'll be fun. Work won't pay for it, unlike the rest of my classes, so that'll be different. I'm looking forward to it. There's a good chance I'll wait on it a little while, of course, since it's going to be nice to not have any school or studying or assignments to worry about AT ALL for a little while. No guilt when I want to just relax, because there won't be anything pressing that I'm supposed to be doing. Not that it's stopped me from completely sabotaging myself this semester with the online course (hence the day off).

I'm going to get the sides of my head shaved for the summer, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to go super short on the top, too. I've just been realizing that this slow progression has been good and all, but every time I get my hair cut, after a few days I always think "I wish it were shorter." I read an article yesterday by a woman who shaves her whole head. She's stunning, of course, so she can do that sort of thing. Last weekend, I got mistaken for a dude. So maybe I should reconsider. Although, if I get mistaken for a dude, so what? It really shouldn't matter all that much, right? It's different now. When it used to happen, it would eat away at me and make me question whether or not I was "beautiful" but now I just don't give a shit about being beautiful. A person's worth shouldn't be gauged by their appearance.

That got sort of rambly.

Life and school and wine and kids and things
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Life has been interesting. I'm working through my last two courses; I have a final exam scheduled two weeks from today and I haven't read the text yet. I should do that. And finish my three assignments. And do the discussion questions. Good times! I'm so glad this will be my last online course. The classroom course is actually going fairly well. I would never want to go into project management as a career, but I think this is one of those courses that will help me grow in my career and in my life. So I'm glad for it.

I got to go to Draw 9 of the Brier on Tuesday. That was fun. Turns out that seats right up from the ice aren't actually that good, because you can't see anything. Next time I'll remember to get nosebleed seats again, because last time the Brier was in town, I got to go to 5 of the draws, and it was actually really awesome to be sitting where we were. I tried to win tickets again this year, but it didn't work out.

I was there with work people, and there was a woman from another company with us, and I hadn't met her before, but she actually seemed awesome (except that she hates tea, and I don't understand that as a general concept). (And as soon as I mentioned tea I went to the David's website to see if there were any deals on AND THERE ARE DEALS ON.) But meeting this woman, she was easy to talk to, we joked and laughed and all was well, and I thought "We could be friends, I bet, if we wanted to be." And I just...I'm not really interested in making more friends. I know I don't have a lot of friends, and a lot of my friends are family members (and a lot of my friends may as well be family, after all this time). I don't get to spend a whole lot of time with the friends I already have, and I have no desire to bring more people into my life in a meaningful way.

And I wonder if that's unhealthy. Maybe I should be trying to grow more relationships. I've met a few people in my latest course who also seem pretty cool. One of the girls goes to the Comic Expo and has been to a few Cons. One of the others is into...basically everything I'm into. But still, I just...don't want more friends.

What I DO want, after these two courses are over and we're back from Orlando, is to do a 30-day yoga challenge. I've got a pass sitting on my account and I have to get it activated, but it would be really nice to get back into it. I've noticed the difference since I've stopped going regularly. And with no school to worry about anymore, I'll have lots of time to go to classes. I might even do some of the Pilates class that the studio is offering now.

And then? Then I start doing some education for myself. I'm going to take the WSET Level 1 and see how it goes, and if it goes well, I'll move onto the next level. Three levels are offered at one of the liquor stores that also does events and classes, so I'm going to try to take them. Eventually, I'd like to become a sommelier. Which could actually be a bit difficult because there's an applied portion of the program, so I'd have to get a job in a restaurant to actually finish it.

Really, I just started to think about things I'm passionate about. Things that bring me joy. Things that make me feel excited just talking about them. Wine and tea are two of the big things. I like sharing them with people and trying to help introduce people to them. Now, I'll start with the WSET Level 1, and see how it goes. The courses get pretty expensive and extensive as you progress through the levels. Level 1 is done in a day and costs around $400, but by the time you get to Level 4, it's 15 months (yup, months) and costs just shy of $10,000. So, you know, maybe I won't do the full program. What I might actually do is take the "Intro to Wine" course at WP, although I'm worried I might be slightly too advanced for that?

I'm actually really hoping to get to Grape Escape in a couple weeks. We were thinking that we might be able to get some discount tickets but that seems unlikely, so I should probably start calling around about them. It's a fun event; we've been to two of them already. My sister and her husband want to go with us. We've never gone with another couple so I think that would be extra fun.

We're babysitting our niece over the weekend. The whole weekend. It should be interesting. We've watched her for a few hours, but never anything like this. Hopefully it goes well. We've got a tentative playdate scheduled with another tyke so I think that would probably help. And we're at above-freezing temperatures for the weekend, looks like, so we can go on plenty of walks and hit the playground, maybe even go to the zoo. She likes watching the penguins and the hippos.

I'm really excited about the trip to Orlando. It's going to be awesome. New Harry Potter rides, back to Disney, I think the guys want to go to one of the big water parks...it'll just be really nice.

I think we'll drive out to Winnipeg again this summer and then go to the cabin on the way back. Pick up a mass amount of fireworks while we're at it. Good times...timing-wise, it might not work out. Last week we had nearly 3 weeks, which was amazing, but because of how things are looking for me, I probably won't be able to leave for more than a week. But we'll see. Maybe we'll just have to do the cabin for a week and then we can try to hit Winnipeg later on.

Every now and then. Survey I took back in May 2014, decided to do an updated one.
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1. I am happiest when: I'm home on a weekend with Rob and we have nothing to do, and we're super lazy and snuggle in bed for however long we want.

2. I feel lonely when: I really think about it.

3. The ideal relationship would be: The one I'm in. With a bit more financial security...haha.

4. Favorite movie(s): Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Groundhog Day

5. Favorite author: J.K. Rowling. Though I also (still) like Stephen King, and Terry Goodkind.

6. What makes you cry: Sappy movies and tv shows, mostly. Degrassi, most recently.

7. Introvert or extrovert: I honestly don't know anymore.

8. Do you think too much: Absolutely. (Same answer as before!)

9. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be: Somewhere warm. Maybe the west coast of Australia. Or Melbourne. But then I'd miss my family too much.

10. A famous person you would like to meet: Misha Collins

11. Do you believe in organized religion: I got married in a Church, so I guess that says something about that.

12. Pro-life or pro-choice: Pro-choice (not the same answer it used to be)

13. Are you a vegetarian: No.

14. Do you support the death penalty: Sometimes.

15. Do angels or demons exist: Metaphorically.

16. What would you most like to be doing right now: Hanging out at home with Rob

17. Do you have any regrets: No.

18. Sex or love: Love.

19. Favorite coffee: Tim Hortons I suppose, if only because that's the only coffee I ever go out for.

20. Brand of cigarettes: Export A! But not anymore.

21. Favorite scent: Clean. Just clean.

22. What REALLY makes you mad: Littering, and people who refuse to recycle. And rudeness. (I'm just leaving in the exact same answer I had before. Word for word.)

23. Favorite way to waste time: Pinterest

24. What is your best quality: Empathy

25. Are you currently in love/lust: Yes

26. What's the craziest thing you have ever done: I got married and bought a house. My past self would think that's pretty crazy.

27. Any bad habits: Procrastination. And chewing my cuticles.

28. Do you find it hard to trust people: Yes.

29. Do you ever doubt yourself: Of course.

30. Last book you read: Wizard's First Rule. I'm working on Stone of Tears right now.

31. Last thing you bought for yourself: Tea.

32. Bath or shower: Shower.

33. Favorite season: Summer.

34. Porn or erotica: Does fanfiction count? Because Supernatural Fanfiction.

35. What is your favorite flavor: Tea?

36. What is your favorite time of day: Early evening

37. Gold or silver: Silver.

38. What is the lamest pickup line someone has used on you: "Nice shoes...hey how does the rest of that go?" (This guy goes down in history because that is STILL the lamest pickup line I ever received)

39. Silk sheets or cotton: Cotton.

40. Any secret crushes: No. Squishes, though!

41. Do you ever feel you are insane: Not in the clinical sense, no.

42. Favorite style of music: Familiar.

43. Favorite film genre: Familiar.

44. What do you desire most in life: TO FIND DIRECTION. I WILL LEAVE THIS ANSWER BECAUSE IT IS STILL VERY ACCURATE.

45. Do you believe in destiny: I'm really not too sure about that one.

46. Is world peace attainable: No.

47. City or country: City

48. Are you more inclined to set short or long term goals for yourself? Long-term. Though I've been working on setting short-term goals that feed into the long-term. Makes things more manageable.

Goal: Get the house sorted out before my party.

Yesterday wasn't half as tough as this time
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Ok, so it was mostly a joke, but I made a comment about LJ on Facebook so...here I am.

So.

So.

We celebrated my Great-Grandmother's 100th birthday over the weekend. Five generations in the same room. I suppose events like that are bound to make you think about your own life and what you're doing with it.

Big ol' birthday coming up in just a few weeks. And it's really hard to believe. I wanted something quiet, Rob seemed to want something a bit bigger, but so far I don't think any invites have gone out, so I'm guessing it'll be quieter. That's all I wanted. I don't usually celebrate much. And I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time analyzing why that is (just kidding, of course I'm going to over-analyze it until my brain hurts).

I'm actually procrastinating because I have an assignment to finish up. The instructor sent out an email and I need to get "back on track" to make sure I can finish the course on time. Also, it's ridiculous that I'm so far behind. I keep telling myself it's almost over. I actually want to do a Petroleum Industry course in May, and my supervisor approved it. It's a 2-day course on-campus. Just when I'm getting excited about being finished.

I'm actually a bit anxious about being finished with school. But I'm excited about having time again, and not having to feel guilty about wanting to do things that interest me. I want to work on some scrapbooking. I'd like to make a wedding album.

I want to see friends! I'm actually excited because I'm getting together with a friend this week. I met up with another friend last week for lunch. It's just nice to reconnect with people.

"Gallavanting" is a wonderful word. Sadly, there's no place for it in my paper.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by life in general. And it's not even that busy. I spent the weekend sharing a room with my sister, her husband, and their baby, and THAT is a busy life. And they didn't even bring their dog with them. Hoo boy. Really, though. I couldn't do it. Especially while also working a full-time job. I try not to be so hard on myself, but most days I just keep yelling at my brain to get the hell over it and FUNCTION. Just get through the day. Put a smile on your face and be a professional. Do the same thing the next day. And the next. Just get through it. And maybe it'll get better.

We're going to Orlando in April, for goodness sakes. It'll be wonderful and fun, and I try to keep that in mind. It'll be fun. I don't have to stress out. I don't have to worry about it, worry that I'll fall behind at work, worry that I'll be burnt out after my courses finish, worry that we shouldn't be going anyway, worry worry worry. It's not a whole lot of fun.

Work is work. Life is life. Just gotta keep getting through it, and someday, things will be better. I'll feel better. It happens. There are better days than this. It's just a Monday, it's month-end, there are big things happening, I get stressed. I let myself get stressed.

There are really good days. Over the weekend, my niece kept clinging to me. I was familiar, I was a comfort. She would run up and hug me or grab my legs or tell my sister that she wanted to go for a walk with her Auntie. I got to hang out with my nephew, splash in the pool. Run around.

I have to get back to yoga. There's a reason the therapist recommended it. I think I'm going to wait until my courses are finished. And we're back from Orlando. I don't want to put it off and put it off, but I also don't want it to get to be too much. I could start yoga once my first course is finished in March. I could still do 2-3 classes a week through April, then really get into it starting in March.

Alright, I want to get this assignment submitted tonight and I've got 3 hours left to do it in, so...let's do this thing.

"Record and play, after years of endless rewind"
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Living in a new house. My house. Our house, actually. But it's bizarre. I wake up and walk out of my room and think "this is my room, in my house, and I'm about to go into my bathroom, which is my bathroom because it's the ensuite, but also because it's in my house."

Our bed still isn't there, so we're sleeping on the floor on the old mattress. I wake up a lot. But it's alright. Rob's been driving me to the train so I haven't had to take the bus in the morning yet, but he's going to be working with my brother-in-law starting next week, so then he'll probably be out of the house before I am.

We're off to Seattle with the in-laws for the weekend. Four days, which will be a nice getaway. I've been feeling off lately. I know that it's partly depression and mostly anxiety. Rob always looks so guilty when I talk about my depression, as though it's about what he has or hasn't done, versus the pure and simple fact that my brain isn't wired properly and if I'm not going to go on medication for it, there will be times when it gets bad. It's never gotten quite bad enough or stretched out long enough to make me honestly want to try the medication.

I've gone to two yoga classes since starting the cleaning program there. I'm hoping to get in a few classes before the end of the month. My therapist did recommend it, after all. That's why I went back in the first place. But lately I've felt so pressed for time that the idea of taking that kind of time for myself has stressed me out. Which is, you know, not the point of yoga.

I've never been to Seattle before. I hope we can eat some awesome seafood while we're there.

I bought a pair of red skinny jeans yesterday from Value Village. I really like them a lot.

I received my "recognition certificate" for working here for five years (it's actually been six, but one of those years was as a temp, and I didn't know enough to know that I should have negotiated that first year into my contract to count towards my employment record here). Maybe that's part of why life has seemed a bit weird lately. Being in one place for so long. I surprise myself sometimes, thinking that I've managed to stay in one place so long. I think I like it. I mean, I've come to terms with the fact that it will always be "just a job" and that's fine. Heck, I have a mortgage to pay, I need to be stable and responsible and all that.

When I was in grade six, I ran for class mayor, and my slogan was "Responsible, reliable, reasonable, and rational." I feel like I've been aspiring to that slogan my whole life. Outwardly I think I do a decent job. Inwardly it's a struggle. And it always will be.

I'm going to try to get some more stuff unpacked tonight. And then I have to pack for a trip. Pack, unpack, pack, unpack. Repeat.

And fill the days so they don't seem so empty.
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Well, life has gotten busy.

The house purchase was all finalized, so I'm officially a homeowner. We've had all kinds of issues with the financing company. Another issue came up today. They're horrible. I wish we hadn't gone with them. I'm wondering if our broker has something worked out where he gets an extra bonus for using them. They're just awful. And now we're stuck with them for five years. Crooks, I'm telling you.

I've started working at the yoga studio two nights a week in exchange for free yoga. At the moment, I'm definitely not making good use of it. I was going to try to go to at least as many classes as I have cleaning shifts, but already I've managed to muck it up. Things have just been feeling a bit overwhelming. And things keep piling up.

The renovations are going slowly. They're coming along, for sure. We've started painting, so hopefully that will be done by the end of the week. That's the goal. Next week, we'll install the floors. We'll be moved in before the end of the month.

It's definitely exciting, but it's not as exciting as it would have been if we hadn't run into as many problems as we have. There were plumbing and electrical issues, floor issues, painting issues. We have a wall that was build over the carpet, apparently. They just decided to add it in. This mortgage frustration is getting to be a bit much for me. I was pretty upset with these lenders for a variety of reasons, and now they're charging me for something that I declined numerous times.

We went to a wedding on the weekend, so that was fun. We'll be going out of town in a couple weeks, just to BC for a family event. Just for the weekend. I took off three days next week to help with the flooring so that we're not too pressed for time.

It's still hard to believe that it's actually our house, especially when we're not currently living in it. We've still got our other place. And I still need to do a lot of packing. We kept the boxes from most of the new things we got when we moved into our old place, so I'm hoping packing it all up won't be terrible. The craft room is nearly finished. I've still got a lot of clothes to pack up, but I need to sort through them first to see if there's anything I should be donating.

I finally cooked the turkey that's been sitting in the freezer since Easter. It's been delicious. Having easy meals when we're back and forth between houses has been really excellent. Our families have also been taking care of us.

We were supposed to be heading to Mexico next weekend, but that's going to be delayed for a little while. I think it's for the best. We've got so much going on that I feel like a vacation would be more stress than anything else.

Once the house is finished, I'm hoping things will normalize a bit. I'm still waiting for my two last courses for my diploma, so that's going to get pushed back again. I'm seriously considering taking one of them online. I know I swore I'd never do another one, but I really want to get these last two over with so I can just move on with my life.

Things are going well, despite my overall tone. I've been in a bit of a funk, probably the depression again. I've been managing it pretty well but I'm starting to wonder if the CBT and yoga is going to be enough. I'm hoping it will be. My anxiety has certainly been less pervasive over the last few weeks. I would have expected it to be worse, but maybe the depression is just winning out at the moment.

I woke up this morning and felt the crushing weight of the corporate world. "Am I really going to be doing this for the next 30 years?" I asked myself. "Can I actually handle this? How do I do this every single day? Am I just going to crack one day, bury my head under the covers and never really come out?" Then again, that could just be the depression talking. It's hard to say.

Just keep on keeping on, right?

We bought a house.
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We started looking at houses on July 10. There were a couple of promising properties, but nothing that really "wowed" us. So we went back out on the 12th to see as many properties as we could. We went into a neighbourhood I was pretty excited about...and it was just a dud. Every house we saw in the neighbourhood was just not for us. We ended up seeing one around the corner from Rob's parents' place and it seemed like it had everything we wanted (and then some). So we thought about it while we were seeing some of the other places, and realized we wanted to get back and see it. Our realtor got us in. We asked our parents if they'd like to come have a look. We went and saw another house that was similar but not quite as big (but listed for more) and realized that it just didn't do it for us.

So we talked about this house and if it was really something we were ready to do. One evening and one afternoon of house-hunting isn't exactly a lot.

We went back the following day to look at it again and realized that we wanted it. So we put in an offer, did all the paperwork, and waited to hear back. Our offer was rejected, and they came back a bit high. We put in another offer, they came down a bit. Rob wanted to put in another offer but it turns out there were quite a few showings over the weekend and there was a lot of interest. I told him I wasn't willing to lose this house over $2000 and we came in at their latest offer, and they accepted! We were at Rob's parents' house for his birthday and the realtor came over to have us sign the official paperwork and get it all through as soon as possible.

It was a pretty exciting day.

So we have a house. We don't get possession for another month, but I have a feeling we're going to need that time to get things ready. We've got some time for overlap, so we're going to stay in our current place for a month after possession. All of the floors have to be redone and we might move the kitchen counter a bit, so there's work to be done. It'll be easier to do it all if the house is empty.

Our realtor is working on getting us back into the house before we take possession. We went back to the similar-but-smaller house on the weekend because there was an open house, because we wanted to try to get an idea of the space again, now that we've had some time to think about what we want to do. And it seemed bigger than I remembered. So we checked the listing against our house, and our house lists the rooms as being larger. So we might have more space than we thought?

Moving the counter could end up being a bit of a pain. We could just get an extra foot of kitchen space, which would be really nice. We're definitely kitchen people.

I was back at yoga for a few days but yesterday I ended up sick (and it turns out it was probably the arugula, which is a bummer because I really like arugula, but apparently it doesn't like me back), and tonight we're going to a concert, Thursday we might be seeing a movie. So I'll try to get to more classes but it might be tricky.

And we've got the long weekend up, so some friends want to go camping for a couple days. Then we have my nephew's birthday celebration. Busy days! It feels like it was just yesterday that I was thinking "Man, six weeks is a long time to wait to get possession." Now it's only a month away. I started packing up a few things (like the VHS because we're probably not going to use those any time soon) but I need to get to work on my craft room. And I have a project (thank-you cards, because I'm a horrible person) that will be finished before we move. I want to keep that at the old house.

I've been having quite a few "down" days lately. I'm working through it.

I'm watching a lot of Supernatural. I'm on season 4. It's really good. I've been trying not to binge too much because there are too many other things to do, but it's nice to unwind after a long day with an episode or two.

Vacations and the consequences of vacations.
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I read a really interesting article yesterday about the "alpha male vs beta male" dichotomy, and how it's both false and extremely damaging. I have a feeling that we're going to be getting a lot of different research into that subject over the next little while, given recent events.

The Hunt is officially on. We start looking at houses tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about it. We're looking in a SW community. It's funny, because the drive to my parents' house would only be an extra five minutes, but I'm guessing most of the family members will think of it as being a lot closer than that. Just because it's in the same quadrant. It would be a nice neighbourhood. No express bus, so I'd be back on the train every day. But it would be a good location for us, overall. There are a couple of houses that seem to have most of what we're looking for. Apparently it's going to be tough to get a garage, but we knew that going into this.

Spent two weeks on holidays. It was pretty awesome. Winnipeg was a lot of fun. The wedding was awesome. They had a ceremony based on a lot of pagan ritual. Jumping the broom, circle of Good People. We helped make the flower headpieces for the Good People. It was a whirlwind visit. I figured that with more time there (since we're usually only there for 2 or 3 days), it would be a bit less hectic. I should have known better. It was fun, and we got to visit with everyone, so that was great. And we knew that we'd have a full week to recover at the family cabin, where we'd have very little to do, so it was easier to handle it all.

The cabin was wonderful. I got to spend all kinds of time playing with the kids. We played some cards, sat in the sun. We didn't have much of a chance to play our ladderball because every time we'd start, the kids would run up and would want to catch the golf balls and try throwing them. It was a good thought, just not really so easy when the kids are up and running now.

Back to the grind now, and it's Stampede so all I really want to do is get the heck out of the city. And I"m going to an event this year. It's the first one I've gone to, but it's for work, and it's clients, and all that. I've managed to drum up excuses every year up to this point for why I can't attend. Hopefully I can just get through it. At least it's on Friday, so I don't have to worry about a late night and then having to drag my sorry butt into work the next day.

I've just been told that I may have a new project coming up at work. For risk intelligence. It could be really interesting.

I'm pretty far behind and I'm not getting a whole lot of time to catch up because everyone keeps getting in touch with me for "urgent" help that they saved up while I was on vacation. Oh good! I guess it comes with the title.

No, flu! Flu forever...
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I'm still fighting this flu. I probably shouldn't be coming in to work. I just confine myself to my desk. Drink my tea. Drink my cold and flu drink. Extra strength, naturally.

I had to write an exam yesterday and I could barely focus, so before class, I got a coffee. An extra large coffee. I think it did help me on the test. I felt like I could actually focus on it and I hope I did well. I need to, since I apparently failed my first test. 8 out of 40. I'm pretty shocked. I knew I didn't ace it, but I didn't think I did that badly on it. I'm wondering if maybe there was a mistake? Or maybe I didn't fill in the scantron properly. The instructor said that pretty much the whole class failed, so I'm wondering if there was an issue with her marking rubric. I think she said she had two different exams, so maybe she used the wrong ones when she put them through the marking machine? We may get a chance to re-write, she said. I would do it. But she said she's probably just going to leave it for the end of the course, and I'm not going to be here for the end of the course. So that could be interesting.

I've never failed a test before! Honestly, I should probably be more concerned about it, but I'm just not. If I had been the only one, then I'd be concerned. But for a majority of a class to fail, there's something seriously wrong. Probably has to do with the fact that our instructor didn't really care about the testing material, because she just wanted to push through it as quickly as possible to get to the business simulation.

I've realized that the majority of my group won't be particularly useful. I stayed with one of the group members 45 minutes past the end of class so that we could get everything entered. The other two group members didn't have a whole lot to contribute and left early. Which was probably better. We did terribly in our first simulation round. Just...really bad. And it was because I didn't put my foot down about some of the decisions. And because we were doing it on a Saturday morning when I was still feeling pretty rough with this flu. So my head just wasn't in the game. There were other teams who nearly doubled our score. Oh, yeah, it's a game, and a contest to see who "wins." Super. But I'm hoping that with this second round of decisions, things will be a lot better.

Oh, about that coffee. I'm pretty sure that there was some kind of interaction between the caffeine and all the drugs I've been taking, because last night was miserable. My heart was racing, and I was watching a bit of tv but had to stop because everything looked like it was moving too fast (I checked with Rob to see if it was just some weird filming quality, but he said it looked fine to him). Then I went to bed and my arms felt weird. And I kept jerking around. It was bizarre, I've never had something like that happen before. So! No caffeine today. Some herbal tea, maybe another one of the cold and flu drinks. But no caffeine.

The little mousy bastards.
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soloist
We finally got an electrocution trap. We've only caught three so far, but that's in three days. So...not so bad. The snap traps just didn't work. The one that was in the trap yesterday was so big its tail was hanging out the end. And it was all the way into the trap. Rob said that it looked like it would have been a struggle for it to even get into the trap. The fact that we've got mice that big is worrying. The other mice we've caught have been quite tiny, only fitting in the final 1/3 of the trap.

We've got steel wool and I've started sealing things up. We might have to get caulking or spray foam to fill it in, too. It's just gross. They got into the drawer at the bottom of the oven so thank goodness we had one baking tray that we've had out for a little while (we just clean it and leave it on top of the stove). I just don't know what to do anymore.

My anxiety has gotten pretty bad, seeing as I no longer have a "safe place." We haven't been hearing them in the walls as often, which is great, but I'm guessing that has a lot to do with the fact that the weather is a lot nicer, so they're probably outside. Maybe these are the days to try to get everything sealed up. We'll just have to do our best, and hope.

I did a yoga class yesterday. It didn't go well, after three weeks of skipping class. I've been pretty sick, and things came up. I could have found the time, but I didn't. And I paid for it. I'll be going tomorrow. I'm able to adjust my schedule a bit while I'm in school, so I'm taking the earlier yoga classes two days a week. That's the plan, anyway.

I tried out my "spiced fig" tea today. It's disappointing. I think I'd be better off eating it as a snack. It's basically just dried fruits. Which is the case with most tisanes, but this one just doesn't have any flavour to it. Sad. They've been hit-and-miss, overall, but I haven't even come close to trying all the ones from my most recent order. The cold kit teas have been pretty good. There's a lovely ginger one. And the "cold 911" did make me feel a lot better. Although I'm still sick, so maybe it didn't quite do the trick.

The warmer weather has been so nice. I'm getting out a little more. Walking part of the way to school. Getting some sunshine.

I've been trying really hard to socialize. I haven't really felt like it much, to be honest, but I'm trying. We played board games two nights last weekend, but then Rob's parents invited us over for dinner and I couldn't do it. It felt like too much.

We're going out to see the new X-Men movie tonight. I watched First Class on the weekend and I'm really disappointed at the advertising for it. I hadn't watched it on principal, because the way they advertised it, it just didn't look very good. But it was. So I'll give this next one a chance as well. It's just that after X3 and the Wolverine movie (only the first one - I never saw the second one because the first one was so terrible), I haven't had so much faith in the franchise. But we'll see if I change my tune.

I really liked the new Spiderman movie. A lot of people were pretty hard on it, but I found it entertaining. I'm trying not to get too wrapped up in the whole "comic vs movie" thing, because I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of these movies if I did. Iron Man 3? I actually liked it, but I just...I made myself not get too pissed off about The Mandarin.

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